Parents!

When Sweet Face was in womb, I vowed to never be the type of parent that later looked back on the way they raised their child with regret. SO often I have heard people say that they never regretted the dishes in the sink, or not vacuuming the floor, but what they did regret in their lives was not spending enough time with their kids.

How many times have I walked into a house and wondered in amazement at the mother that kept the house clean, baked cookies, ran errands, did the laundry, cooked dinner, and kept the husband loved on. That woman still amazes me, but in most cases (not all, but most) the one thing not being taken care of is the emotional needs of that woman's child. Maybe it isn't enough to notice, or to worry about, but either way that child isn't getting the attention, love and affection that he or she deserves.

When Sweet Face was born I tolerated so many insults about my housekeeping, and I just laughed it off. I didn't mind because I figured that would never be a real regret of mine. Sweet Face got all the Momma time he needed. If I was doing the dishes or laundry, I stopped to dance, to play, to laugh or to love. We spent time together, painting, singing songs, or even watch a movie together. We played games and laughed. We played outside and went for walks, even if the house was a mess. I was certain that even though I wasn't a great housekeeper, I was an AWESOME mother.

But the older my children get, and the older I get, I find that I am so concerned with keeping up with appearances of our home, that I am losing sight of what is really important, and that is how my family feels. Husband included! What I should be concerned with is how loved they all feel.

Just watching, actually watching, that movie with Peanut last night, I realized just how long it has been since I have REALLY taken the time to enjoy her, I know that we are together every single day of my life, all day long, but most of our days are filled with, "Stop whining, don't fight with your brother, pick that up, this house is not your personal garbage can, I am not your slave, I'm trying to clean, Peanut" and on and on.

I suppose this is my revelation, I truly miss my kids, my family. I miss their twinkles, their little laughs, enjoying their hugs, and holding their hands, and the time I used to spend with them.

I'll be the first to admit, and maybe it makes me sound awful, but I am only being honest. It is hard to love your children unconditionally ALL the time. Letting go of all the annoying things they do, their whiny voices, or the lollipops stuck in the carpet, the hand print you have to wash off the wall, or for those of you with young boys, the pee on the toilet seat, but as parents we were entrusted with these amazing and precious little people. And don't we owe to them to give them the devoting attention and everlasting love that they give us? It's so easy to complain about all the work, and ignore them while doing it. It's easy to say, "I will play with her when this is done." But let's face it parents; it is NEVER done! But they will grow up some day, and sooner rather than later, and they won't want your attention. I don't want to regret that. I don't want my memories to be of the times I didn't have enough time for my kids. We love our children, and none of us ever want to make them feel bad, not really, so let's make a little more time. Those dishes will be there, those little eyes and cute smile, and soft hands, aren't always going to be reaching out!