We have been learning about being BOLD at church this last month. Through this series we have been studying the books of Acts. And this past Sunday we learned about BOLDly obeying God. A few days before the service, our Pastor, PS, had called and asked me to email him a few testimonies on our obedience. After discussing what he had in mind, he finally gave me free reign to write what I thought was god, and however many I thought necessary. (Bad move on his part, once I get going, I may never stop! Bwa ha ha!)
Anyway, I had sent him four or five storied of my acts of obedience, and what they had done for us. He had chosen two, and along with a few other people's testimonies read them aloud during the service. (If you would like to here it the service and the other testimonies please feel free to click on this link: http://clcbutler.org/media/2012/7-22-12.mp3 )
One of the stories I had sent seemed to me to be the biggest one. I thought for sure it would have been used. I thought that it would help so many others in seeing how great God and faithful God is. Looking at it now, I realize that I felt so strongly about that testimony because it was very hard for me to obey and trust. And though it may not have been what PS wanted, or needed, I thought maybe I should share it with you.
A few months ago, Husband and I began looking at houses. When we first started, I thought we would just look at a few, and then stop, just like we have done so many times before. But after about seven houses I started to realize Husband was serious. We looked at a dozen or so houses before we fell in love. This house was beautiful, brick, six bedroom home with plenty of room to spare. Mom could live with us, and I could have an office. It came with a garage, (the only thing Husband seemed to really want) and it was in our price range. It needed some work, and the yard definitely left something to be desired, but the four of us were in love. And we went home to pray about it. Husband and I prayed together, and we prayed as a family, and then I prayed on my home. I knew that it was only by God's grace that we were even able to buy a house at this point in our lives, and I wanted to make sure it was His will that we bought THIS one.
I prayed long and hard, and asked that he let me know if this was the one and if we should move on it. I opened my bible to read for the night, and when I did my eyes landed on John 4:16 "Go and get your husband," Jesus told her. "Ha, ha God, that is really funny" I said out loud, "but seriously, I need an answer." so I closed my bible, prayed once more and opened it again. This time I even tried to manipulate it, to make sure I wasn't any where close to that verse again, but sure enough, that;s where I opened it again, I remember thinking that maybe he just wanted me to wait for Husband and we could pray together, so I did, but every time we did, I heard nothing, I felt nothing.
So Husband said he was positive that God wanted us to have this house, and the next day we put it our bid. Sitting at the realtor's office, I remember having a panic attack. I felt wrong, and wanted to get out of there. I kept telling Husband that we shouldn't be doing this, and I didn't think it was right. I didn't hear anything from God, and he kept assuring me that he heard clearly that we should be doing this. In the midst of my panic there was this moment when my silent battle with God had just stopped. I threw up my hands and said, "Fine God, I 'll let him do this, but I am trusting YOU that you will make it right. If he isn't doing what he is supposed to be, if he hasn't been praying or hearing you, then you need to make sure this doesn't go through." and then in my most threatening tone, I said, "I AM TRUSTING YOU!" Looking back I realize how ridiculous it was to threaten God, but I did let go of my control of that situation, and let God and Husband handle it. The next day we learned that we could not get the house, because it was bank owned and they wanted cash.
There was a small part of me that was sad. I really did want it to be the house, and I was hoping that it was God's plan, no matter how I felt it wasn't. But there was a much bigger part of me that was relieved, and I knew that God had stuck to His end of the bargain.
And the hunt continued. We had looked at least twenty more houses before Husband was in love again. This house was a smaller three bedroom, no room for Mom, no room for an office, barely bigger than what we were already living in. It did have a swimming pool and over an acre of a semi private yard. Oh yes, and the most important thing, according to most men, a garage. When we went home from looking at the house Husband went on and on how he knew that was the house. He felt it as soon as we went in. We are going to grow old there.I just know it... blah, blah, blah... I however, did not feel that way, so I prayed. I prayed hard, and asked God for a sign. Is this the house? If it is I will be gracious, and I will love it and care for it, and I wouldn't fight. I just needed to know that it was what God had for us. I opened my bible to read once again, and the very first verse I read was, Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Awesome! I didn't second guess it this time. I knew he was talking to me, and I knew that meant that I was to stay out of it.
Husband scheduled another viewing of the house. Mom came, and showed that she wasn't impressed, and Husband had decided to move forward. I was anything but thrilled, but I let Husband decide. The bid was accepted immediately and the process began. I stayed out of all of it. Husband took care of all the details, and I packed. I got a lot of ridicule from my friends for letting husband handle it. Even a Christian friend of mine made her opinion of my insanity known. "Isn't that a decision you and Husband should make together?" And I would always reply that God was clear and wanted me to stay out of it. It was hard. I will say that. When people keep saying you're crazy, when you don't even particularly like the house, when things go wrong, and when your husband can't even take charge on where you are going to eat, it tends to make things a little more difficult. I mean, we weren't even sure that we had the house until the day before closing. But I knew that if this was the house God really wanted for us, then eventually I would be happy. I would fall in love, and the house would be a dwelling for Jesus, where my kids would grow up learning to love and forgive like him, where I would grow old being proud of who they have become, being proud of who Husband and I have become. I had faith in God, and I knew that if it was His will, it would be great!
And then when it actually came to closing, I stayed home, and let Husband do the work. We obliviously bought the house. We have been living in it for almost three months. I am not only in love with the house, for the most part, but I am falling in love with Husband all over again. Letting him make such a big decision without my help, seemed to change the dynamic of our family. Even though Husband put me in the role of leader in our house, I couldn't expect him to step up, if I never stepped down long enough to give him a chance. I learned a lot about Husband, and the man he could be. Things are much different on our family now, we have more communication skills with each other, and he seems to have more confidence. I am so glad that I listened to God, that I BOLDly obeyed, even though I was ridiculed by some of the people closest to me. I didn't let them or Satan change my mind or make me think I was doing something wrong. I stuck with God. I listened for His voice, and took comfort in knowing I was doing His will. I expected that everything would be alright, and He honored that! So please if any of you are having second thoughts as to doing what you think God was telling you, do it. If it's God's will you can't go wrong!
Anyway, I had sent him four or five storied of my acts of obedience, and what they had done for us. He had chosen two, and along with a few other people's testimonies read them aloud during the service. (If you would like to here it the service and the other testimonies please feel free to click on this link: http://clcbutler.org/media/2012/7-22-12.mp3 )
One of the stories I had sent seemed to me to be the biggest one. I thought for sure it would have been used. I thought that it would help so many others in seeing how great God and faithful God is. Looking at it now, I realize that I felt so strongly about that testimony because it was very hard for me to obey and trust. And though it may not have been what PS wanted, or needed, I thought maybe I should share it with you.
A few months ago, Husband and I began looking at houses. When we first started, I thought we would just look at a few, and then stop, just like we have done so many times before. But after about seven houses I started to realize Husband was serious. We looked at a dozen or so houses before we fell in love. This house was beautiful, brick, six bedroom home with plenty of room to spare. Mom could live with us, and I could have an office. It came with a garage, (the only thing Husband seemed to really want) and it was in our price range. It needed some work, and the yard definitely left something to be desired, but the four of us were in love. And we went home to pray about it. Husband and I prayed together, and we prayed as a family, and then I prayed on my home. I knew that it was only by God's grace that we were even able to buy a house at this point in our lives, and I wanted to make sure it was His will that we bought THIS one.
I prayed long and hard, and asked that he let me know if this was the one and if we should move on it. I opened my bible to read for the night, and when I did my eyes landed on John 4:16 "Go and get your husband," Jesus told her. "Ha, ha God, that is really funny" I said out loud, "but seriously, I need an answer." so I closed my bible, prayed once more and opened it again. This time I even tried to manipulate it, to make sure I wasn't any where close to that verse again, but sure enough, that;s where I opened it again, I remember thinking that maybe he just wanted me to wait for Husband and we could pray together, so I did, but every time we did, I heard nothing, I felt nothing.
So Husband said he was positive that God wanted us to have this house, and the next day we put it our bid. Sitting at the realtor's office, I remember having a panic attack. I felt wrong, and wanted to get out of there. I kept telling Husband that we shouldn't be doing this, and I didn't think it was right. I didn't hear anything from God, and he kept assuring me that he heard clearly that we should be doing this. In the midst of my panic there was this moment when my silent battle with God had just stopped. I threw up my hands and said, "Fine God, I 'll let him do this, but I am trusting YOU that you will make it right. If he isn't doing what he is supposed to be, if he hasn't been praying or hearing you, then you need to make sure this doesn't go through." and then in my most threatening tone, I said, "I AM TRUSTING YOU!" Looking back I realize how ridiculous it was to threaten God, but I did let go of my control of that situation, and let God and Husband handle it. The next day we learned that we could not get the house, because it was bank owned and they wanted cash.
There was a small part of me that was sad. I really did want it to be the house, and I was hoping that it was God's plan, no matter how I felt it wasn't. But there was a much bigger part of me that was relieved, and I knew that God had stuck to His end of the bargain.
And the hunt continued. We had looked at least twenty more houses before Husband was in love again. This house was a smaller three bedroom, no room for Mom, no room for an office, barely bigger than what we were already living in. It did have a swimming pool and over an acre of a semi private yard. Oh yes, and the most important thing, according to most men, a garage. When we went home from looking at the house Husband went on and on how he knew that was the house. He felt it as soon as we went in. We are going to grow old there.I just know it... blah, blah, blah... I however, did not feel that way, so I prayed. I prayed hard, and asked God for a sign. Is this the house? If it is I will be gracious, and I will love it and care for it, and I wouldn't fight. I just needed to know that it was what God had for us. I opened my bible to read once again, and the very first verse I read was, Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. Awesome! I didn't second guess it this time. I knew he was talking to me, and I knew that meant that I was to stay out of it.
Husband scheduled another viewing of the house. Mom came, and showed that she wasn't impressed, and Husband had decided to move forward. I was anything but thrilled, but I let Husband decide. The bid was accepted immediately and the process began. I stayed out of all of it. Husband took care of all the details, and I packed. I got a lot of ridicule from my friends for letting husband handle it. Even a Christian friend of mine made her opinion of my insanity known. "Isn't that a decision you and Husband should make together?" And I would always reply that God was clear and wanted me to stay out of it. It was hard. I will say that. When people keep saying you're crazy, when you don't even particularly like the house, when things go wrong, and when your husband can't even take charge on where you are going to eat, it tends to make things a little more difficult. I mean, we weren't even sure that we had the house until the day before closing. But I knew that if this was the house God really wanted for us, then eventually I would be happy. I would fall in love, and the house would be a dwelling for Jesus, where my kids would grow up learning to love and forgive like him, where I would grow old being proud of who they have become, being proud of who Husband and I have become. I had faith in God, and I knew that if it was His will, it would be great!
And then when it actually came to closing, I stayed home, and let Husband do the work. We obliviously bought the house. We have been living in it for almost three months. I am not only in love with the house, for the most part, but I am falling in love with Husband all over again. Letting him make such a big decision without my help, seemed to change the dynamic of our family. Even though Husband put me in the role of leader in our house, I couldn't expect him to step up, if I never stepped down long enough to give him a chance. I learned a lot about Husband, and the man he could be. Things are much different on our family now, we have more communication skills with each other, and he seems to have more confidence. I am so glad that I listened to God, that I BOLDly obeyed, even though I was ridiculed by some of the people closest to me. I didn't let them or Satan change my mind or make me think I was doing something wrong. I stuck with God. I listened for His voice, and took comfort in knowing I was doing His will. I expected that everything would be alright, and He honored that! So please if any of you are having second thoughts as to doing what you think God was telling you, do it. If it's God's will you can't go wrong!
