Emotional Abuse

Emotional Abuse is any kind of abuse that is NOT physical. Verbal abuse falls in this category. It also includes constant criticism, or less the less obvious; intimidation, manipulation, or the refusal to NEVER be pleased.
Emotional Abuse wears away the victim's self esteem, confidence, self worth, and makes them question their own thoughts, perceptions. Emotional abuse causes deep wounds that can last far longer than thought.
Emotional abuse generally takes three kinds of form; aggressing, denying, and minimizing.
Aggressing:
*Aggressive forms of abuse include name-calling, accusing, blaming, threatening and ordering. Name-calling seems easy, any words used to hurt your feeling when talking about you, is name-calling. EX: "You are such a butt face!" Accusing is to put blame, or fault onto another person where there isn't any. Blaming the victim for the offender's behavior, "It is your fault I act like this. Why do you make me do these things?" etc. Threatening, is to hang over dangerously, or to announce what is coming. Remember that sentence; what is coming! Often we make empty threats, but abusers usually mean what they say, and use threats in order to instill fear into the victim. The more afraid the abused is, the better control the abuser has over them! Even if it is simply fear of the other leaving!
Ordering, would be one person demanding things from the other. Requiring the other to meet the abusers high standards. If the orders aren't meant there is usually a price to pay. Whether it be yelling, or belittling or physical or sexual abuse, there will be a punishment.
*Aggressive abuse also comes in a less direst abuse. It can be disguised as "helping" and put into criticism, advise, solutions, analyzing, or probing. Sometimes it is a sincere attempt to help. However in some instances these behaviors may be an attempt to belittle, judge, control or demean the other, in order to gain a sense of control.
Denying:
*Invalidating: is to take away the importance of something, (like an argument) Ex: Abused: "Why would you say something like to me, I love you!"Abuser: "I never said that, what are you talking about?"
*Withholding: refusing to listen, communicate, or withdrawing emotionally, as a punishment. Also known as "the silent treatment."
*Countering is denying the victim as an individual and refuses to acknoweldge the other person isn't an extension of themselves. Therefore, not accepting to believe there could be another opinion, feelings, or viewpoints.

Minimizing:
*Minimizing is a less extreme form of denial. Doesn't exactly deny that a situation occurred, but question the recipient's emotional response. EX: "Quit crying, you are such a baby!" "Oh crying again?" "You're blowing this out of rorportion!" Implying the feelings or perception at hand is faulty or not trustworthy.
*Trivializing is to make something less important than it actually is.
*Denying and Minimizing can ultimately end in the question of ones self. Making it harder to make good decisions, because you are constantly questioning your own thoughts, reactions, and emotions. Therefore making you more dependable on the abuser!

Individuals who were abused as children more than not, enter abusive relationships, either as the abused or the abuser. Because you grew up listening to emotional and verbal abuse, it could feel normal or even comfortable, although it is destructive.
Recipients of abuse often struggle with powerlessness, hurt, fear, and anger. And most of the time the abuser is struggling with the same feelings, and learn to be abusive as a way of coping with the feelings of inadequacies. Which allows him or her to take control of their feelings.
If this sounds familiar to you or someone you know there is help. There is help out there for the abused, for the abusers, and for friends and family of the abused. Please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−SAFE(7233) or TTY 1−800−787−3224.
And be safe!