Writings... on the wall..? :)

          For as long as I can remember, without any exaggerating, I wanted to be a writer. Even as a two year old, I would spend hours scribbling wiggly marks on lines of paper. I love every aspect of writing. The creating, the actual writing. From the time I could put sentences to together I've written short stories, poems, a journal, and even stabbed at a few novels. I love to write, and to read. Words were my life. Paper... Oh the wonder of it. I could look at a blank piece of paper and feel excited for what was about to come. Every empty page, being a way to start new, fresh. The intoxicating smell of brand new paper, and the opening of a new journal. There are times I write aimlessly about nothing, because I am so close to the end of one journal, and get so excited to start a new one! I love to think of things to say, to write them down, to go over it and write it in a better way. I love the idea that someday any of my writings could help someone with their struggles, be it big or little. I have fantasized about some young girl, finding my journals and reading them, and finally believing that she is not alone in the world, that someone made it through to have a better life. I think for a long time I kept my journals, and continued to write them, because I had wished someone had left something like that for me as a lost teenager.
            Even into adulthood, I continued to keep a journal. I wrote poems for my great loves, (Which is pretty much anyone I know. I fall in love with people fast and hard, and that love rarely ever dissipates, I carry it forever! That is just who I am!) until becoming a mother. Completely focused on being the best mother, wife, I could be I slowly lost my self, and everything that made me, me. I still wrote briefly in my journal from time to time. But not anywhere close to enough, and I don't know when the last time I wrote a poem, or a creative short story. (In the eight years I have been with Husband, I have written three journals, aside from the last year, which I have written four.) I could remember what it was like to be me, but that's all it really was... a faint memory. And with that loss, I also lost my inspiration, almost my ability to write. I'd take a stab at it every so often, but always felt like there was so much room for improvement. I had nothing to say. Or should I say, I lost my ability to find the right words. I felt like a stranger to my longtime best friend. Paper
             When I was saved last year, I began writing more and more often in journals. I started slowly. A prayer hear, and taking notes there, then I started writing my stories, or I guess what would be my testimonies, and then one day I woke up and thought, I should start bogging again. I only started blogging to get back into writing. I just thought if I could do something, that was just being mother or wife, it would help me find a sense of me. I am not delusional enough to think my writing is amazing, or that it is changing lives across the globe, but I do know, that it is already changing mine, and maybe that is enough.
              I know that writing this blog is part of God's plan. He has anointed so  much of my writing I realize it was really never about me, but glorifying Him, in a way I  really know how. I might not be a genius with words, but I do know how to get my point across in a relatable way! And God wants to use that! But He also, wants me to feel like I am someone other Liz the mom, Or Liz, Husband's wife. I am Liz, the writer, and while I fumble with a lot of my words, this blog gives me the opportunity to improve my skills, and there is a chance, that somewhere along the way it will help at least, one person feel like their life is not so lonely, or dare I say, find their way to God. And that is enough for me! It would be nice if someday my blog lead me to some sort of career, or amazing opportunity, but realistically, I don't think that is part of the plan, but who knows, I have no idea what God has planned for me. I just do what I am told, one day at a time!
              So I thank any readers out there, for stopping at this page, while I trip on my words, and topics. For giving my rambles the opportunity to make sense! I love you peeps! And I want you to know that there is a plan for YOU! Thank you again, and God Bless!