This morning, as I got ready for church, I hopped into the shower. I was feeling alive, and refreshed and grateful, and ready to receive from the Lord. What I was not ready for, was the lump I found in my left breast and arm pit, as I did my self breast exam. I immediately checked the right side, and found it to be smooth as a babies bottom. Back to the left side, I was overwhelmed with thoughts of cancer and sickness, and radiation, and chemotherapy. I was reminded of my paternal grandmothers breast cancer, my mothers three time breast cancer, and all the other cancer's that run throughout both sides of my family. Before I could even grab the towel I was out of breathe, and had my future hair loss mapped out, and then I stopped... A quiet peace came over me, so I found a lump or two, that doesn't define anything, in fact last night I was studying my bible, and read in Psalm 91:3 "For it is He who delivers you from the snare of the trapper and from the deadly pestilence." What is pestilence? a deadly or virulent epidemic disease. I say cancer in any form sounds like pestilence to me. Not only does this scripture promise that the Lord will deliver me from my pestilence, but if you continue to read to verse 4 it promises that, "He will cover you with His pinions, And under His wings you may seek refuge." Abba just promised to protect me under the feathers of His wings... That's good stuff... So I picked myself up, or rather dried myself off, thanked God for His love and protection, and got ready for church.
Somewhere in the rush of the morning, I lost that scripture I was holding onto so tightly, and walked into the church with a bad attitude, and an excuse, that I found a lump and could have cancer, so it was ok, to be in a mood. I dropped Peanut off in her room, and went to sit down, and as I walked through the greeters, one of them, who is known for her gift of prophesy, grabbed me and hugged me. (Anyone who knows me knows that this in itself was a test, I am just learning to be a hugger!) As she hugged me, she stated, "I am the Lord, who healeth all your disease!" and then she said, I don't know where that came from, God wanted that word for you" I was drawn back, and in shock, she couldn't have known, no one but Husband and Mom knew, and I know they didn't say anything. Flabergasted I went to sit down, but as I did something inside me, very clearly told me to reveal what was happening to this prophetic woman. So I found her, and told her, she immediately layed her hands on me and began to pray... and as she was finishing another word came, "Be still, and do not be anxious in anything." Wow! I thanked her for her time, and for obeying when given a Word, and sat down. I sat through service listening and trying to fight off thoughts of cancer.
As I went throughout my day, I held on tight to those Words, and the verses in Psalm 91. Thoughts of discouragement, defeat, illness, and fear, continue to invade my mind, but I will not let them invade my spirit. I might have cancer, I might not, but I refuse to live my life afraid, because I know that the blood of Christ protects me. I will be fine, and God will be with me the whole way, I do know those things. I don't have to fear what the future holds, because it is already written... I just read somewhere that "Fear comes when we think we are responsible for bringing about protection ourselves." I can't do anything about these lumps, except get them looked at, and be grateful that I found them now. I can be grateful that even on my loneliest day I still have Daddy to lean on, and I can thank Him for loving me enough to not only give me two encouraging Words today, but that He gave me a whole book full! (The Bible, in case you didn't realize)
I don't know what these lumps mean for me, and I am trying hard to not think constantly about it, but I do know that I can't be afraid, I need to "walk in faith, not sight"...(Or feel) And I know that "every little thing is gonna be alright!" (Thanks Bob Marley, for the awesome reminder!)
However, I do appreciate any prayers that come my way! ;)
Somewhere in the rush of the morning, I lost that scripture I was holding onto so tightly, and walked into the church with a bad attitude, and an excuse, that I found a lump and could have cancer, so it was ok, to be in a mood. I dropped Peanut off in her room, and went to sit down, and as I walked through the greeters, one of them, who is known for her gift of prophesy, grabbed me and hugged me. (Anyone who knows me knows that this in itself was a test, I am just learning to be a hugger!) As she hugged me, she stated, "I am the Lord, who healeth all your disease!" and then she said, I don't know where that came from, God wanted that word for you" I was drawn back, and in shock, she couldn't have known, no one but Husband and Mom knew, and I know they didn't say anything. Flabergasted I went to sit down, but as I did something inside me, very clearly told me to reveal what was happening to this prophetic woman. So I found her, and told her, she immediately layed her hands on me and began to pray... and as she was finishing another word came, "Be still, and do not be anxious in anything." Wow! I thanked her for her time, and for obeying when given a Word, and sat down. I sat through service listening and trying to fight off thoughts of cancer.
As I went throughout my day, I held on tight to those Words, and the verses in Psalm 91. Thoughts of discouragement, defeat, illness, and fear, continue to invade my mind, but I will not let them invade my spirit. I might have cancer, I might not, but I refuse to live my life afraid, because I know that the blood of Christ protects me. I will be fine, and God will be with me the whole way, I do know those things. I don't have to fear what the future holds, because it is already written... I just read somewhere that "Fear comes when we think we are responsible for bringing about protection ourselves." I can't do anything about these lumps, except get them looked at, and be grateful that I found them now. I can be grateful that even on my loneliest day I still have Daddy to lean on, and I can thank Him for loving me enough to not only give me two encouraging Words today, but that He gave me a whole book full! (The Bible, in case you didn't realize)
I don't know what these lumps mean for me, and I am trying hard to not think constantly about it, but I do know that I can't be afraid, I need to "walk in faith, not sight"...(Or feel) And I know that "every little thing is gonna be alright!" (Thanks Bob Marley, for the awesome reminder!)
However, I do appreciate any prayers that come my way! ;)
Oh my! Definitely keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeletePraying for you!
ReplyDelete