As I gripped my comforter in my sweat pants and read the book, "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert, I realized I have much to look forward to in my life.

My dreams of writing haven't been squelched by anything but myself, and a career in it isn't impossible, just postponed. Someday my kids will be grown, and I can travel the world. Someday I will go back to school, and graduate. Someday I will have grand children. The possibilties are endless, and I am on the receiving end of it!

I have also come to realize that I am who and where I am supposed to be. God had a plan and I am fulfilling my purpose as of now. To raise these amazingly wonderful children to the best of my ability. It may not be what I planned for my life, or even wanted, but it is a good life, and I am lucky, or better yet blessed to be able to have it! Someday I am confident that I will have the life I had thought I would have, but first this is my job!

To love these children that God handpicked me to be the mother of. To teach them and to learn from them. To care and be the best at... To love my husband, and to let him love me. I know that my family was placed in my life on purpose, it was not by chance. They were chosen for me, as I was them

I love being a mom, I love my husband, and my children, next to God, they are the most important things in my life. My world completely revolves around them, and I guess that is how I get lost. I suppose it is an insult to God to be unhappy with the life he has given. Truth is, at least I have life. I have all of my limbs, and use of them, I can smile, I can laugh. I am not starved, I have all of the things I could ever need and most of the time I have what I want. Who am I to deserve more than that? The audasity of thinking that somehow I cheated out of a more glorious life, and here i am with so many blessings, it's ballsy of me to complain! I have more love in my life than most people get, and I am unhappy? I have what others only dream of, I am sorry that I have been so foolish!