Talking to our kids about death, heaven, and hell part 1: death

        So many times I have been ridiculed, insulted, or thrown some serious negative vibes because I have NEVER hidden my kids from death. Since they were old enough to as questions we have talked about it. I have been told that I am a bad parent, or morbid. I even had someone say, "Is death for Jesus?" I laugh at that one, because isn't that exactly for Jesus, wasn't that the point of Jesus? He died for us?
        Anyways, my kids have been to funerals, and they know that everyone dies. They know about heaven and they even know about hell. Some would question my decision to reveal so much information at such a young age, but I don't think we are doing them any favors by hiding the truth. My mother raised us honestly. Aside from Santa, and the rest of the magical creatures, she never lied to us. She didn't offer a lot of info if we didn't ask, and she only gave us enough to satisfy our curiosity. I try to parent the same way.. A lie is a lie, and they always have a way of getting out.
       So how do we talk to our kids about death? First let me point out that death is always happening, and I have seen a lot of it throughout my life. And honestly Sweet face has as well, just most of it didn't affect him, and he probably doesn't remember,and, honestly the topic never came up, until someone died and he was older, so I guess it was a little easier for me. My step grandfather had died a few years ago, and Husband and decided it was the perfect way to introduce the topic of death.  Husbands grandmothers are getting older, and so much of our families don't have the best health, so we thought before someone very close to them passed, we should start talking about it.
       We took them to the funeral, where I am proud to say, they were very well behaved, and didn;t cause any problems. Peanut played video games on her v- pocket, and Sweet face stared at the corpse. At first I did think that was morbid, and then I thought, why wouldn't he be curious? So I asked him what he was thinking, and that opened the door to a great conversation about bodies and souls. (I have to say, it would have been an even better conversation had I been saved then!) Sweet Face learned a lot about death that day, and he learned about heaven. I explained that though the body looks like the people we once loves, the thing that made them that person was gone. And that hopefully he would go to heaven.
          The next death that took place, happened  a little over a year ago, and it was closer to us. Husbands grandfather, Wolfman had passed away after a very long stay in the hospital. The kids had seen him alive right before he died, and we talked about the fact that he wasn't going to live much longer. I remember Husband's mom scoffing at me, because I said I was going to take them to the hospital, and the funeral. She was appalled! How dare I do that to my children? They don't need to see that. I shrugged and pointed out that, kids needed closer just as much as adults, and wasn't that the reason for funerals anyway? Now because I didn't want the drama that would come with bringing them, I left them at home. Now this death opened a new topic. Sweet face and Peanut actually knew this person. They each had a personal relationship with the Wolfman. They weren't super close but there was something. Not only had they known him, they also saw him deteriorate. They literally watched him die, with the rest of us. If people go to the hospital and stay, they always die, right? Why do people die? If I get sick will I die?
           This death was a little harder to explain. Of course I didn't want them to think that if you got sick you died, but on the other hand, people do die from being sick. "Well, if someone is sick, and doesn't get better than yes, they die." "Do only old people die?" "No sometimes younger people die." "Do kids die?" "Sometimes" "I don't want to die." "Well, you won't die for a long time, and if you do, you won't care, because you will be in heaven for sure!" And then the biggest question. Sweet Face looked at me with fear in his eyes, "What if you die?" "Well my little Sweet Face, I will die, someday, because we all do. But it is not going to be for a long time. God gave me a job to do, and I believe He won't let me die until that happens,, and my job is to raise you to be a God fearing man who will change lives." With a wash of relief, these answers satisfied him.
             My kids seem to have more knowledge about death than most kids their ages. But I think that if you are going to raise your kids as Christians they need to be aware of what death is. Once again, what Jesus did for us, was very real, and if we don't have a real knowledge of what him dying was, how could we expect anyone to understand what was sacrificed. We want to protect our kids, sure I get that. But doesn't that mean equipping them with what life hands us. Death is not evil or morbid, or even unpleasant, its part of the process, and for me, and my fellow Christians, it is the start of an eternal life. A rebirth... if you will... Into the greatest gift of all..... heaven
                          To be continued...