Sunday, August 12, 2012

Telling Kids about death, heaven, and hell; Part 3

       I know that when I think of my loved ones dying, I like to think of them entering the pearly gates of heaven, getting sized for their very own angel wings, and on their way to meeting The Holy trinity. However, that isn't always the case.
       See, this life, here on earth, is very important as far as our eternal lives go. What we do plays a factor, the type of people we are, the good deeds we do; but the BIGGEST deal breaker of all is whether or not we believe and accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. The truth is, more people than I would like to admit, are NOT going to heaven. And dying doesn't not automatically make you a saint. If you believe in heaven, and are going to teach your kids about it, shouldn't we make sure they know the consequence of not following Christ?
        HELL!!! (Imagine your own flames, and devil horns all over the word) When we first started talking about death, I was guilty of only telling the kids about heaven. "Oh Sweet Face, Spiderman (The beta fish) died, but he is in fishy heaven, where he has an endless supply of lean water, and food." It was more pleasant that way, less scary. But what I didn't realize is that I was actually causing Sweet Face harm, by not telling him the truth. (And honestly, I didn't tell him, because I don't like to think about the alternative to heaven.) Again, I think it is vital to live according to Christ that we recognize what could happen if we allow ourselves to be led astray. What a better conversation would have been is this: "Oh Sweet Fae, I am so sorry that Spiderman died. If you would like, we can pray for him, and his soul, and hope that Spiderman believed in the fishy Jesus Christ so he could get into fishy heaven."
             And then hopefully that would have led to a discussion on the "other" place. As it is, I hadn't but my darling little Peanut has asked about hell, and we sat her down, and discussed it in a very detailed, but childlike way. Hell is a place where you never get hugs. You cry and cry, and no one ever says sorry, or holds you or cuddles you. There are no mommies, and you are always feel like you have boo boos. There is no love in hell, no kisses, no unicorn, or twonicorn (Her stuffed unicorns) No beds or blankets, no toys, no nothing, except its hot, and dark, and you can hear people scream and cry for help, but you will never see them. Doesn't that sound awful?" (Even as I type this, I am overwhelmed with empathy for all the lost souls their. It must be awful, yet I am so glad I will never see it) "Yes, I never want to go their" And she won't, as long as she keeps living for God, and bringing others to Christ, and always recognizes who Jesus Christ is and what he had done and is doing.
           Sure heaven is far more fun, but discussing hell does two things, shows how great heaven is and why it is so important to never stray. The Bible says there is only one way to Heaven
Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father but by me." (John 14:6) 
So let's educate our kids, equip them with the right things, so that they have a better chance than most of us. Let them know the truth, so when it comes time to make their own choice, they have ALL the information! There is Death, and some of us go to heaven, and some of us go to hell, hopefully they will make the decision to go to heaven.... Have you?

Saturday, August 11, 2012

Telling kids about death, heaven, and hell: Part 2

                   My last post focused on death and the importance of knowing about what it really is. I thought came to me after I wrote it. If we are constantly told our entire lives that death is awful, or wrong, or morbid, and what not. How then, when it does happen to a loved one, are we supposed to cope with it in a healthy way?
                  When the topic of death comes up, most people automatically go for the, "They are in heaven." approach. But do most kids even really know what heaven is? And by lumping in all the people we have ever seen die into the category, doesn't effectively show our children how important giving your life to Christ is.
                  Of course heaven is a wonderful place. There is no more pain, and sickness. We are fully restored to our perfect health. We leave our decrepit earthly bodies, and go to a place where they will  no longer burden us, that's why it is important to keep our spirit right. Well fed, and maintained, because our spirit is what is going to be showing for eternity.
                Heaven... It should be exciting! We get to sit around and hang out with Jesus... WITH JESUS! in all of his glory. We get to meet the creator of ALL things. Its a wonderful, beautiful place filled with happiness and joy. I imagine, that it feels like that feeling you get when the Holy Spirit is heavily on you. Your heart beats faster and your body feels like its weighing you down... I can't describe it. I know that it is like getting high, but better. I imagine that is what it feels like to be in heaven only intensified by 90 million! IT WILL BE AWESOME!
                  For those of us who get there. Its easy to explain to a child the glories of heaven, but do we take the time to explain, how we get there. It says in the bible that the only way to heaven is through Jesus Christ. John 14:6 Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. TO accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior. Ruler of your life. To recognize that you are a sinner, and that you need saving. And then to dedicate your life to doing God's will, to becoming more like Christ, and to spread the gospel like Wild Fire. That is the only way to heaven, and at some point our kids need to understand, that even though we love some of the people who die, they aren't going to go to heaven.
                 Some would say that telling a four year old, or seven year old, that their grandmother may not go to heaven is harsh, but once again, I would like to point out that I don't believe lying to them is going to do them any good.  If we let them believe that everyone goes to heaven, we might as well tell them that we don't need Jesus to get there. We don't need to live right to get there. We might as well tell them, that living for Satan is ok! But it's not. Now I don't think everyone should just blurt out, "That guy is going to hell for sure!" I mean it isn't for us to know who gets in. But maybe saying, "I don't know if they are in heaven, Only God knows what was truly in there heart, hopefully Jesus Christ was." Or something along those lines.
                   If everything was good all the time, how would we ever recognize it. We wouldn't. We would take advantage of the good, and we wouldn't appreciate it. And then if it ever did get bad, (and in real life it does, even for a Christian) how would we know how to handle that situation? The same theory goes for heaven. If we only expect heaven and eternal life, how can we work to not go to hell? We wouldn't even acknowledge hell.l I don't about you, but to me, it doesn't sound like we would have a fighting chance. So if you are going to discuss heaven, shouldn't we then discuss hell, and the difference between the two. Why we want to do the things we need to in order to get into heaven? I think the answer is simple: Yes....
                                     
                                    To be continued...
           

Friday, August 10, 2012

Love Liz; with joy

        A few months back, I had posted about getting back into shape, and becoming healthier, which meant losing a few pounds. (About 30, if I am honest) I had great intentions to start back up, and I did for like a minute, then life got a hold of me.
          Well I am back at it. I started a new workout regimen, which I think is actually the old one I talked about. The Couch to 5K, (Click here to check it out:  http://www.coolrunning.com/engine/2/2_3/181.shtml ) My good friend, Deary, and I started two weeks ago. We have been hitting the gym, everyday minus the weekends, and are already seeing results. Not big ones by any means, just a have a waist, and legs seem to be a little more defined. Little things. Let me say before I go any further, that had Deary not buddied up with me, I would have quit last week, when my lungs felt like they were on fire! Today I finished week two. During my first 90 second jog session, I started to develop shin splints, I kept going and the second jog, I got a cramp in my side, my breathe was starting to get heavier, and sweat was pouring off of me, I longed to quit. I didn't think I could make it the full six.
             I began praying in my head. "Lord God, I am doing this for you, I am getting fit because of you. Thank you for getting me through each session, thank you for showing me what I need to do. Lord I know that I am your representative, and I want to make a lsting impression on others. I want people to see me, and know that yes I am for God. Lord, Thank you for the joy I feel when I finish, and thank you for giving me the drive. I am committed to this, like I am committed to you Lord." And before I knew it, I was starting my sixth and final 90 second run. I decided that since next week seemed much harder, that maybe I should try for two full minutes. So I did it, and praised God the entire time. 
            Getting off that treadmill, I felt like two million dollars. I wanted to jump up and down, and shout, "That's right, I am AWESOME!" I have found that, if you really are doing, whatever you are doing for God, then there is joy... How do we make sure we are doing it for Him? Well, while you are doing whatever it is, praise Him. Thank Him, for the food He provided so that you have dishes to do. Thank Him, that you can get up and train on a treadmill. Thank you for the cane He made sure you had to assist you in your walking. Thank Him, that he chose you, that no matter what it is He tells you to do He will give you the strength to do it. Thank Him, that no matter how little or insignificant you feel, or the task He has given you feels, HE gave it to you, He bothered giving you life, and drawing you closer to Him. Praise God, that He loves us enough to make things joyful.
             I look around me so often, and marvel at the beauty of the world around us. The magnificent lightning, or the way the sun peaks out from behind white clouds. The smell of cherry blossom trees, and fresh cut grass. The taste of granny smith apples and the crispness when you bit into them. The feeling you get when you are hugged, or when you love someone. The security you feel wrapped in blankets. There is so much around us, that shows us God''s love, and the everyday tasks, should be just as beautiful. Just knowing that he cared enough about us to show us such beauty should give us unfathomable joy. So as I worked on what I neglected so long (My body) it wasn't hard for me to find joy, even though, it was hard work, and I felt a little gross afterwards.  Praise God, for Joy
            

Thursday, August 9, 2012

Talking to our kids about death, heaven, and hell part 1: death

        So many times I have been ridiculed, insulted, or thrown some serious negative vibes because I have NEVER hidden my kids from death. Since they were old enough to as questions we have talked about it. I have been told that I am a bad parent, or morbid. I even had someone say, "Is death for Jesus?" I laugh at that one, because isn't that exactly for Jesus, wasn't that the point of Jesus? He died for us?
        Anyways, my kids have been to funerals, and they know that everyone dies. They know about heaven and they even know about hell. Some would question my decision to reveal so much information at such a young age, but I don't think we are doing them any favors by hiding the truth. My mother raised us honestly. Aside from Santa, and the rest of the magical creatures, she never lied to us. She didn't offer a lot of info if we didn't ask, and she only gave us enough to satisfy our curiosity. I try to parent the same way.. A lie is a lie, and they always have a way of getting out.
       So how do we talk to our kids about death? First let me point out that death is always happening, and I have seen a lot of it throughout my life. And honestly Sweet face has as well, just most of it didn't affect him, and he probably doesn't remember,and, honestly the topic never came up, until someone died and he was older, so I guess it was a little easier for me. My step grandfather had died a few years ago, and Husband and decided it was the perfect way to introduce the topic of death.  Husbands grandmothers are getting older, and so much of our families don't have the best health, so we thought before someone very close to them passed, we should start talking about it.
       We took them to the funeral, where I am proud to say, they were very well behaved, and didn;t cause any problems. Peanut played video games on her v- pocket, and Sweet face stared at the corpse. At first I did think that was morbid, and then I thought, why wouldn't he be curious? So I asked him what he was thinking, and that opened the door to a great conversation about bodies and souls. (I have to say, it would have been an even better conversation had I been saved then!) Sweet Face learned a lot about death that day, and he learned about heaven. I explained that though the body looks like the people we once loves, the thing that made them that person was gone. And that hopefully he would go to heaven.
          The next death that took place, happened  a little over a year ago, and it was closer to us. Husbands grandfather, Wolfman had passed away after a very long stay in the hospital. The kids had seen him alive right before he died, and we talked about the fact that he wasn't going to live much longer. I remember Husband's mom scoffing at me, because I said I was going to take them to the hospital, and the funeral. She was appalled! How dare I do that to my children? They don't need to see that. I shrugged and pointed out that, kids needed closer just as much as adults, and wasn't that the reason for funerals anyway? Now because I didn't want the drama that would come with bringing them, I left them at home. Now this death opened a new topic. Sweet face and Peanut actually knew this person. They each had a personal relationship with the Wolfman. They weren't super close but there was something. Not only had they known him, they also saw him deteriorate. They literally watched him die, with the rest of us. If people go to the hospital and stay, they always die, right? Why do people die? If I get sick will I die?
           This death was a little harder to explain. Of course I didn't want them to think that if you got sick you died, but on the other hand, people do die from being sick. "Well, if someone is sick, and doesn't get better than yes, they die." "Do only old people die?" "No sometimes younger people die." "Do kids die?" "Sometimes" "I don't want to die." "Well, you won't die for a long time, and if you do, you won't care, because you will be in heaven for sure!" And then the biggest question. Sweet Face looked at me with fear in his eyes, "What if you die?" "Well my little Sweet Face, I will die, someday, because we all do. But it is not going to be for a long time. God gave me a job to do, and I believe He won't let me die until that happens,, and my job is to raise you to be a God fearing man who will change lives." With a wash of relief, these answers satisfied him.
             My kids seem to have more knowledge about death than most kids their ages. But I think that if you are going to raise your kids as Christians they need to be aware of what death is. Once again, what Jesus did for us, was very real, and if we don't have a real knowledge of what him dying was, how could we expect anyone to understand what was sacrificed. We want to protect our kids, sure I get that. But doesn't that mean equipping them with what life hands us. Death is not evil or morbid, or even unpleasant, its part of the process, and for me, and my fellow Christians, it is the start of an eternal life. A rebirth... if you will... Into the greatest gift of all..... heaven
                          To be continued...
                               

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Memories... and conviction!

      Yesterday, I was at my Mom's house, and cleaned out my cubby hole in my old bedroom. I literally found every note anyone has written me, since seventh grade. I found every journal I have every kept. (24 total, not including the one I am currently writing in) It was nice to see them. Many were kind gifts from good friends, and the words kept in them were from a completely confused teenager of the young age of thirteen, to where I am now. (Still very much confused if I were to be honest) It is my life, recorded from my mind. And the love I had from others, recorded from theirs.
          I thought the notes would be so neat to read. I opened a few with excitement, and as the letters unopened and revealed many secrets, what I felt was not excitement. Instead tears streamed down my face, as I read the dedicated words, of many heartfelt boyfriends. What I realized was how many people I have hurt in my young life.
          I can't say that I hurt any of these people on purpose, but maybe that's what makes it so horrible. That I was so mean, and it wasn't intentional. I now feel as though I owe each person that comes to mind and apology, and an explanation.
           There were these letters from this guy, who we will call Einstein. (He was one of the smartest people I had ever met) I remember being with Einstein clearly. I was seventeen, and he was 20, almost 21. We had dated a couple times before, but nothing serious. And when we started dating the last time, it got serious fast. Even the way we began dating was wrong. I was just getting out of a year and a half relationship with someone else, who I hurt, and moved right into Einstein's arms. It had disaster written all over it.
             Einstein was a recovering alcoholic, and at seventeen, I thought I could handle that. He was intense, and loved me quickly. I am not sure what it was he loved about me, maybe I gave him a sense of security, or because I seemed to love him for who he was. I don't know, but he spent many sleepless nights writing to me, to make sure I knew how he felt about me. His words of course, were laced with so much genius, it simple letters  made me feel smarter. (I am sure they should have had the opposite effect, but he was good at making me feel good)
             But alas, his problems were grown up problems, even at 20. And though I was m ore grown up than I should have been, my emotions were not quite as developed. Looking back at it now, 20 wasn't so far off from when I got pregnant with Sweet Face, and committed my life to Husband, but at 17 I wasn't ready, and Einstein was. Or at least he wanted to be. At seventeen I wasn't ready for the intensity that relationship was, and I hurt him. I broke it off, in an immature way, and was mean. I never explained anything, maybe I wasn't really sure why it wouldn't work, but I am positive that I blamed it all on him. He did have some serious problems and after our break up, his life spiraled down. We didn't stay in contact, and our lives seemed to move on. But I always kept Einstein close to  my heart. However, the way I remembered him, was from the perception of a seventeen girl, and now after reading his letters, I see home from a  thirty year old woman.
             I have come to realize, just how much I have hurt the people in my life. People that I loved. And most of the time, it was just because I was incredibly selfish. I have said horrible things, and done thoughtless, heartless things. I am so glad I found these, I obviously don't feel great about how I lived my life, and I want to make amends. Even if the other people don't really care. This watching what you say an dhow you say it thing has been tricky for me, but with this challenge, God has brought some much more to light for me. It's not necessarily my words that I need to change, but my attitude, and the way I see other people!
            I am a work in very slow progress, but I am so glad I get to share it with you!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Wait... Was THAT sarcastic?

             Was that sarcastic? Seems to be my catch phrase lately. I have accepted a challenge to not be sarcastic for an entire week. No sarcasm in my world is like... taking away the jelly from the peanut butter... was that sarcastic? The biggest problem I am finding is that, I don't even know when I am being sarcastic. How can I ever expect other people to get me, if I don't really understand my own words?
            Lately I have been talking to the kids about the power of the word. God created the world with only words. "let there be light!" And it was light. He didn't have a magic wand, or even a special incantation, he just spoke it, and there it was. Makes you think about the things coming out of our mouths. With just a word Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, and healed many. With only His words, he begged for our forgiveness, as He became sin while hanging on the cross for the rest of us, who could only hope to be as holy as He.
              It is with words that build each other up, or tear each other down. Words leave the most damage to a mind, and yet they have the power to linger on someones hearts to get them through a rough childhood. One kind word could change someones outlook on life, and one sarcastic word, could do the same in a negative way.
               But I think honestly, the most damage we do, is to ourselves. "I'm so dumb... I don't have any gifts... I'm ugly... I'm a monster..." The list goes on. If we say something enough, we believe it, and if we believe it strongly enough, we become it. If I walked around saying I was a terrible mother or wife, eventually, after talking everyone else into believing that, I would eventually become it. If I walked around talking about how life sucked, my perception would be off, and everything would seem to suck, until eventually no one would want to be around me, and the the bad things that just happen in life would seem worse, and I wouldn't have a grip on reality, and my life would suck...
            BUT... If I talked about how great life is, or how I am walking in freedom, and I no longer needed to fear, or that I am surrounded in love, and I am radiating in love, and I give love freely, Oh the possibilities... Wouldn't life be amazing...
              Who knows maybe that girl you just told was pretty, or that she had a great smile, just decided to give up in love, because she felt ugly, but now you have given her a glimmer of God's love. Or how about the power of speaking God's Word to people. If we walk around silent, how are we to ever save anyone? It is true some people don't want to hear what we have to say, but the right words, could save a life, or better yet, a soul.
                Let's give more thought in to what we say to one another, and especially to our selves. If the world can be made with a word, think about what the right ones could do for our lives...
       Now THAT is some great advise!!!! (Wait was that sarcastic?)